Wook's Place

My Bellybutton

It would seem that my bellybutton is to far away from my spine. But I knew this already. It's why I joined the damn gym in the first place.

I found this out at a gym across the street that my friend Nat goes to. One of the conditions of my moving to Brooklyn was I go to this gym. Since I finally have a handle on all the broken and otherwise non-functional parts of me medically, I had a personal session with a trainer. Her name was Megan, and she was nice in a professionally distant way one would expect in an overly personal situation like fitness training.

Megan decided that ultimately what I need for what I want to accomplish is a whole bunch of stuff from a whole bunch of different disciplines, but to start off with I need basic pilates just to get to the point where I can do any of the other stuff without killing myself.

For those that don't understand the joke in the first sentence because you've never experienced pilates: You do almost everything with your abs sucked in. Or tightened. Or something. The trainer puts her fingers in a point with her thumb and pushes down on your bellybutton while telling you to "wrap your abs". I spent an hour doing this, and I still have no idea how it's done.

She also kept telling me "close your ribcage". And "neutral back". But you are supposed to do all of that at once. My strategy was to take a deep breath, suck in my gut, stick out my dick, and then not breath while doing the set of whatever it was I was supposed to do 5 or 8 or 10 of. I was blue in the face thru the whole hour. Megan never said a word or asked me about it, so I'm guessing that's normal.

I'm guessing that what I did for that hour was about what I needed. At the end of the hour, I was surprised it had gone already. I didn't feel like my ass had been kicked. I did feel like I'd been active, and active for a while, but as I write this I'm not sore or anything. I didn't puke. I'm wasn't lightheaded from endorphins coursing thru my system.

So now I've worked out, so I'm all fit and a hunka-hunka-burning-love. Ladies, beware!