From newsgroup alt.atheism...

I have a God, too. Only most people call it a toilet. I have a special room in my house for my God and I visit it several times a day to see that it is getting enough water and nutrients. That way if people ask me if I believe in God, I can say:

"Of course I believe in God, there has always been a special place for God in my home and I sometimes feel very close to God. Just knowing that God is there is a source of great comfort to me."

This is one of the best pieces I've read on alt.atheism in a while (which may tell you what I consider things to have been like lately ;-) This has great possibilities...

"I once was a great sinner, indulging in strong drink, but one night in my wickedness I found myself kneeling before God, pouring out my repentance; evil spirits were expelled from me, and consumed by God. I prostrated myself before God then, and slept the sleep of the innocent."

"Truly our society could not function without God. Not only is there a special place in my home for God, but in every true American home and place of business as well. I know that even when I travel I can turn to God in my time of need. Although our founding fathers did not know God exactly as we do today, they would never envision an America with no God at all. Those who reject God are defiled by their actions and risk spreading their filth to those around them."

"My thoughts never stray too long away from God. At times when God seems farthest away, that is when then God is foremost in my thoughts."

I'm sure now that I will be snickering for weeks at the most innocuous of theistic postings...